Spiky Headed Jerk!
by moonlilly
Summary: With that he kissed me on the lips and left. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all. CloudxYuffieSlight Humor


Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or the characters! Got it?

I would like to take a minute and say this is a Clouffie. If you do not like this pairing leave. Only if you absoulutely hate it though.

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Okay! Ugh that Spiky headed jerk! You know what he did to me? It's so horrible, so despicable that I can't even say it. Hm… okay… maybe not that horrible but horrible enough for me! And I said I was sorry for stealing all of their Materia! Some people… I swear! I don't know what Tifa sees in him! Besides that he can be sweet and so cool, or be so damn sexy! Oh, crap… did I say that outloud? Hopefully no one heard me… or Tifa might kill me! I hope Vinnie can't read minds…

Oh yeah… Vinnie (for a joke, I will never know) caught me messing with his materia. So he said if I drop all of the materia and run he won't tell Cloud about my crush on him. I don't have a crush on that mako freak! Scratch that… that was sorta mean… here, let me repeat that, ahem, I don't have a crush on that spiky headed jerk! I mean… he's nice, and really sweet on the inside (at least that's what Tifa says). I mean… if I really do like him (I WON'T TELL YOU) he needs to get over Aeris… We all miss her dearly but moping around and blaming himself for her death isn't going to help… It's hurting a lot of people…

Okay, I'm done with the mushy stuff! My father says I need to find a boyfriend in a couple of days or he will pick one out for me. I hope he doesn't pick out that guy next door with the zits… it sends shivers up my spine and gives me nightmare. Ew… grossness! Enough rambling, you really wanna know what Cloud did to me? I'll tell you, but you gotta promise not to laugh. And you can't tell anyone! You will suffer death by Bahumat and his cousins if you do!

Here's what happened… Another Warning: I SWEAR IF YOU TELL I WILL KILL YOU! GOT IT? It's embarrassing!

Me, the great ninja Yuffie was silently cleaning her shrunken and then I noticed something. My materia, all of it, was gone! I glanced up and saw Tifa smiling about something… she probably stole it! Crap she heard about the Cloud thing! I jumped up and did the only thing I could do, yell. "Thief!" She stared at me, alarmed.

"Yuffie, you alright?" She asked. I mimicked her words in my head. She was playing stupid! Stealing materia was my right!

"Don't play dumb! You stole my materia!" I pointed at her and glared at her. No one steals Yuffie Kisaragi's materia and gets away with it! Scratch that… No one steals Yuffie Kisaragi's materia and _lives_ to tell about it.

Tifa tilted her head. "What _are _you talking about?" She was still playing dumb! How annoying!

"Lemme see your glove and your armlet!" I put my hand out in a greedy fashion. She, surprisingly, did what I asked. I scanned over it and saw she had none of my materia. I handed it back. "Sorry." I said. She looked completely confused still as I walked out.

Let's see… Tifa didn't do it so that left, Vinnie, Cid, Red XIII, Barret, Cait Sith, and Cloud. I was no longer the great ninja Yuffie anymore, at least for the moment, but the Great Detective Yuffie! I raced out of my room… my first victim… Vinnie. (Well more like my second really.) Besides… Cloud wouldn't steal my materia… he's to busy figuring out how to kill Sephiroth.

I found Mr. Valentine at one of the Highwinds dark corner, his eyes shut, most likely meditating. I smirked mischievously and jumped in front of him. "Hey! Vinnie!" I yelled, slightly startling him.

He glared at me for the billionth time and closed his eyes again. "What do you want?" He asked, voice laced with venom. I backed away again. Crap, the Great Yuffie can't get scared by Mister. Oh I slept in a coffin, I'm scary and most likely a vampire.

"Y-You… s-stole m-my materia." Damn! I was stuttering! Great, just peachy.

He smirked in satisfaction. He was smirking because he scared me or maybe he did have my materia. "Yuffie, I could care less for your materia." Yeah… that was enough for me.

I checked off Vinnie on my suspects list. Next was Cid. He must have done it! Revenge for stealing his cigars and daring him a 100,000 thousand gil for not saying a single swear for two months. I saw him in the cockpit and snuck up on him. I tackled him to the ground. "Listen mister! Give me back my materia now! I swear I will make sure you get no more cigars unless you give me back my materia."

He pushed me off and stood up, glaring at me. "You crazy ass girl, I didn't do shit. So go find the real person who did it, I'm busy."

Good enough for me! I checked him off and proceeded to find Red XIII. I found him eventually but he was too busy cleaning himself… I swear I will never get that image out of my mind. Besides… he wouldn't do it! He acts like he's 80!

Next! Barret! Found him on the deck with his daughter. "Hey, Barret!" He turned around and frowned… I think he was smiling.

"What Yuffie?" He asked. Marlene was staring up at us, waiting for something.

"You stole my materia. Simple as that!" I said, crossing my arms.

His face turned sour. He was officially pissed. "Yuffie why would I steal your materia?" He asked calmly, holding back his rage.

I shrugged, I really didn't have a reason. "It's either you or Cait Sith! Now hand it over!"

His free arm balled up into a fist. "I don't even know how to use my own materia, much less yours!"

He had a point but… "Listen, you probably did steal it… so you could master it later on. And for revenge!"

"I didn't do it! Ask Cait Sith, he probably did it!" He yelled.

"You did it Barret, admit it!" I yelled back. I really don't know why I persisted it so much. Anyway we went into a argument and eventually Marlene stepped in.

"Stop it! Both of you! Daddy, go to your room now! And Yuffie pester someone else! He does not have your materia!" I was shocked as I watched Barret walk to his room, Marlene following. Okay… weird… Next!

Cait Sith was nowhere to be found… most likely betraying us again… but he didn't steal my materia. Why? You ask. I checked his room. Last but not least on my list was Cloud. But why would he do it?

I found Strife on the deck, staring off into a daze. I saw something around his waist that caught my eye… My Bahumat Zero materia! "Strife!" He glanced my way. "Gimme back my materia!"

He smirked (such a sexy one). He chuckled. "Come and get it." I ran forward a reached for the bag hanging at his side, full of my materia. He moved out of the way in time, laughing. Cloud laughing… the end of the world is coming! Well technically it is coming if we don't stop Sephiroth. But that's not the point!

I grabbed the bag and smiled in satisfaction. "Ha! Got it back!" I blew a raspberry at him and ran to my room.

That's it! That's what he did! Not that funny but it was fun to do.

Cloud's laugh… so charming… crap, crap, crap, stop it Yuffie! Pull it together. My stomach's growling now… Time to eat! I ran out of my room and bumped into, who would of guessed it, Cloud.

I scrunched up my face, pretending to be mad at him. "Yuf, are you still mad?" He asked me. I nodded. "Well you should stop it's ruining your lovely appearance." With that he kissed me on the lips and left.

I felt myself blush. Maybe he isn't a Spiky Headed Jerk I said he was… better call dad and make sure he doesn't choose zit boy. I have a boyfriend now dad! And he's my spiky headed jerk!

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I had fun writing this. Review please! 


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